BIRTHDAYS: BITTER TO SOME AND SWEET TO OTHERS

Last month I celebrated another birthday.  Those that know and love me are aware that I don't just have a birthday, I have a birthday month.  For the entire month, I allow myself to slack off from work, go out to lunch a lot and treat myself to whatever I want.  Every day is a Happy Birthday.

I do take notice of the actual date as the most supremely special day of the month.  I am sorry to say that this year, Al flunked my birthday.

I went over to his house after work on the big day and found him sitting on the couch watching TV.  I sat next to him when he turned to me and said, half joking and half hoping he could get away with it,  "Is there a card around here that I can recycle for your birthday?  I didn't have time to get to the store."

I gave him the look - the one that screams ‘put the cauldron on and set to boil' before I replied  "Yes you did.  You had 364 days!"  Did he really think I was going to jump up and search through every drawer in the house so I could fetch the card that I've waited 47 years to receive???

Two commercials after his lazy effort, he lifted himself from the couch and went into the kitchen to write a check and off to the shower he went.  Smelling all nice and cleanly shaven, he came out of the bathroom and asked  "Did you get your birthday present?"  "No" I replied.  He grabbed the check off the counter and handed it to me.  It was a check for $100 dollars with a note on the memo line-  Happy B'Day ..... with no IRTH.  I have spent the last five and a half years shaking his earth and he couldn't give me my IRTH!  Flunk with a capital F.

I wouldn't take the check.  It felt like grocery money.

After stewing over the cauldron for two weeks, I set him down for a good talkin' to.  He said I was becoming too high maintenance.  He then continued to dig a deeper grave by asking "Why are birthdays so important to you?"

First of all, yes.  I am high maintenance.  I didn't go through the pain and heartache of divorce so I could end up in the land of mediocrity.  I chose you out of every man on earth so you could rock my IRTH.

Secondly, birthdays are very important to all women.  It's the only day of the year that's all about us.  Holidays are great, but all we do is cook and clean.  The only time anyone notices us is when the gravy boat needs to be refilled.  This is our one day to be special.  Don't even bring up Mother's Day - that's just another one of our work holidays.

Al was afraid that I might get too used to all the loving attention.  I certainly will.  What's wrong with that?  Would he rather I settle for the mundane and mediocrity when it truly is possible to live a life of bliss?

After a very long discussion that he wished he didn't have to suffer through, we came to an understanding:  Love doesn't wear out if you feed it on a daily basis.  No one ever grows tired of hearing ‘I love you'. The most important relationship in your life should always be considered high maintenance.  Don't ever take for granted the one person that loves you the most.

Just as many of us choose the last day of day light savings time as a reminder to change the battery in the smoke alarm, birthdays are a one day reminder to show someone you love how special they are to you

All in all I would have to say that birthdays aren't so much about the cards and flowers; it really is the thought behind it that counts.  It just counts more with presents! 

Linda Schutz     October 2006