THESE SHOES ARE MADE FOR WALKIN'

The stylish and youthful 19-ish cashier in the department store looked at me with her softly sculpted eyes resting easily within her radiant skin and asked  "Mam, do you already know how much these cost?".  I waited a moment before I lifted my head from the contents of my purse and said  "Yes, I do know.... I know they're ugly.... but they're so comfortable".  With a long sigh curdling beneath her breath, she allowed me to buy them. 

How dare she! Does she not know that these shoes have double cushioned soles with a sewn in sock and a removable liner encased in a soft, but unremarkable color of leather with no appearance of style? Yes.  She does know about the lack of style, but she would do well to buy her mother a pair before they're all gone.  Shame on her.... and her beauty and youth.

I had already done the ‘him and haw' routine, wearing them around the store for at least a half an hour before I could find the resolve within myself to purchase such an ugly pair of shoes.  Most important to me was that they were comfortable.  Secondly, my thoughts went to the designer label on the shoe- DKNY.  That's top drawer for me.  What I couldn't wrap my mind around was why DKNY design something so ugly!

The effort to find my resolve and talk myself into this very expensive purchase was to turn to my brilliant and colorful  imagination.  Maybe the designer made these shoes for women walking the streets of Manhattan.  I can see all the girls from Sex in the City wearing these shoes from location to location and then quickly changing into the spike heels with cute little straps as they pretend to have been walking the streets of New York City all day long. 

A therapist would take me back over the long road of ugly shoes that have shown up in my life.  "Tell me," she would say, "When do you first remember buying an ugly pair of shoes?".  While lying on the Cordovian leather couch, I would have to admit that I don't know the answer to that question.  But I do remember the time when my mother said to me "Linda, you always look so good and so put together...... until you get to your feet."  That was about 20 years ago and I have been slipping down a steep and ugly cobbler's  hill ever since. 

My favorite ‘shoe gig' every year is Fleet Farm.  I bought a pair of black nylon boat shoes at that store over five years ago.  As the years passed and the shoes wore out, I now only wear them when I wash my car.  Good shoes never die.  You just have to find another life purpose for them. 

I have since looked forward to the next year and every year after that to mark my shoe anniversary. I have celebrated with a new pair of Fleet Farm shoes ever since.  I get down right giddy when I back my car out of the driveway  knowing I'm going to buy my Fleet Farm shoes today! 

On last years trip to the shoe mecca of my world, I found a pair of navy blue nylon sandals with velcro straps adorned with flowers in the weave. They have a strong arch support with flexible soles.  Ring me up!  I was so enthused with these sandals, I found a matching pair (without flowers) for Al.  He wanted nothing to do with them.  In his words, "those are ugly!" Yeah, I already know that.  Just buy ‘em and shut up!  Guess what - he wore his more than I wore  mine. 

I allowed my mother, the fashion Diva, to wear my luxury velcro sandals one day on her walk.  She loved the comfort so much that I bought her a pair.  Now my sister wants to walk in our shoes.  I could have sold a lot of them - without the expense of a weekly mailer. 

This spring, I found the new addition to my ugly shoe family in a weekly ad for - you guessed it- Fleet Farm.  I require two things in a sandal.  They have to have a back strap and no thingy between the toes.  I like to wear socks - every day of the year.  I don't care what the temperature is or what the fashion of the day holds to be trendy.   I will wear socks in my boots, in my shoes and in my sandals. 

Before I met Al, a friend of mine told me I would be so much more dateable if I would just get rid of the socks.  I told her that if a man won't date me because of my socks, he's not worth my time.  I'd rather be with a man that will fall in love with my sparkling personality and fabulous body instead.  In my world, all things are possible- including the fabulous body . Thank goodness Al never looked down.

I am beginning to think that shoe manufacturers are in cahoots with the podiatrists.  Elongated pointy toes, steep heels and soles that just plain won't bend seem to be what the trendy set wants to wear.  How did the trendy set know that's what they wanted?  Well, they didn't know until the price tag was slapped on the box.   The more they cost and the more pain they cause, the better they seem to sell.  The only place I feel safe is under the radar from the fashion and podiatrist police.  This makes Fleet Farm a good bet.

My daughter is a podiatrist's dream.  Her shoe choices have nothing to do with the way feet were made.  Thick soles or thin soles; the shoes don't bend when you walk.  It's all about the look.  I've had a hard  time learning to call the sandals of her generation ‘flip-flops'.  When I was young, we called them thongs.  Today, thongs cover your privates and can only be seen above your belt line when sitting down or bending over.  How did a shoe description end up... on your back end? 

Linda Schutz      May 2007
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